What I’m listening to

Ever since I was a child/teen, I’ve never worn both my earphones. I hated the idea of not being able to hear what was going on around me

It’s also why I prefer the TV volume on a low setting, so I can juuuust hear what’s going on and I guess why I always sleep with my door and windows closed (but for the opposite reason I think? If I’m asleep I can’t hear whats going on so lets try and block it away completely).

I think that’s also where my (mild) anxiety stems from. The need to have everything in order and control so that I can predict what scenarios could play out and be prepared for the outcome.
On my way to and from work, I check the train timetable a million times. And then recheck them. And then screenshot them in case I lose signal and can’t check them another million times before I just get to the station and wait for the first train to arrive. It’s not even a case of not wanting to miss the train because they come every few minutes anyway.
There’s a bunch of other silly things that float around my brain on a daily basis but what I’ve started to realise is:

My favourite part of the day now, is putting both of my earphones in and blocking out the rest of the world.

I’ve been listening to Alexisonfire on repeat for the last 3 or so weeks (one of the few bands I can never get sick of) and it just makes me feel like I can take on the world (or at least the train trip home).
It was the weirdest realisation for me. I didn’t even know I’d done it but yesterday it just clicked and I thought YES, I GET IT NOW.

Screw you, businessmen talking too loud about financials and stock markets!
Eff you, lady with too much spray tan having a full on argument with your boyfriend!
Get lost person who thought it would be a good idea to eat a tuna sammich on a crowded train at 8AM!

I can’t hear you, therefore you do not exist in my world narrated by Dallas Green!

 

xx

 

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